My Wife Is Hotter Than Your Wife, Wishing The AID On Children.

Picked up my wife at the airport today…thrilled thrilled thrilled to have her home.  However, spending a little time out at the DFW Intl. Airport has me convinced of something: when the trash of the world feel like switching up their weekly Wal-Mart trip (you know, when they wanna go somewhere fancy) they go to the airport. I’m standing there, waiting for the mrs. to walk out her gate when I felt a light tug on my shorts.  I looked down and a kid (7-8 years old) was trying to take my Ipod out of my pocket!  I knocked his hand away and told him to piss off, which he did.  Not one fucking minute later, ANOTHER slightly older kid (maybe 10 or so) tried to do the same thing.  I grabbed this one by the arm as hard as I possibly could, asked where his parents were and walked him over to them and told them if the kid tried to steal from me again I’d beat him right in front of them.  The dad, less than thrilled with me (if looks could kill…I’ve have terminal AID-body), grabbed his kid and walked away.  Wise move, motherfucker. Finally, my girl showed and we headed off to the parking garage.  I went to back out of my spot and a motherfucking asshole pulled right in front of me and just fuckin’ stopped.  Stopped.  Stopped!  Nothing in front of him…nothing behind him…Stopped!  I sat there for a few seconds, brake lights engaged…nothing.  So I layed on the horn and began to scream expletives in his general direction.  As he drove away I noticed something…a fucking blue tooth.  Motherfucker!  Death to the bluetooth and all you bitchmade pussies who wear them.  Death.  Painful death.  AID-death. Anyway, I’m sure this wasn’t the perfect ‘welcome home’ for my wife…but she’s used to be being an agro bastard.  After flipping out I looked over and she was laughing at me.  And that’s why I married her.  Well, that and she has an amazing ass.  It’s nice to have things back to normal.