American Flag Masturbation, Madonna And The Jiggly Tits

When I was a kid I always thought x-ray vision would be a sweet-assed super power to have.  The ability to see through hot chick’s clothing…yeahhhhhhhhhh.  Heard on the radio this morning that some bastard has made my dreams comes true…well, sort of.

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/news/2005-05-15-airport-xray-bottomstrip_x.htm

That’s right…

In an effort to make us safer from those dastardly terrorists, the good ole U.S. of A has decided to ease their pants down, grab an American flag (ya know, for clean-up), look through our clothes and shoot one all over our suprised, yet free faces.  Call it democratic bukake, if you will. 

Well, I think this is a great idea.  We need to do whatever it takes to feel safe and if that means I have to show my junk to a dude in a stupid airport security uniform, so be it.  I mean, it’s not like all this added security, haphazard lawmaking, and unnecessary probing into our lives has been forced upon us based on nothing more than an isolated incident…oh wait.  oops. 

9/11…please.  What a fuckin’ hoax.

The U.S. has done everything in their power to spin 9/11 into the worst tragedy to ever occur here on our shores.  I think the American Indian might disagree.  Fairly sure the Mexican might have a bitch in all this.  Hell, the Civil Fucking War, for Christ’s sake.  But we didn’t have CNN or Fox back in 18 fucking 60 so I guess it simply never happened.  So infuriating…

I swear, this country gets more and more like a bad sci-fi novel every damn day.  Full body scans, people listening in on your phone conversations, chip implants under your skin to monitor your movement…when does the anal probing start?

I guess my last thought on this whole body x-ray thing is, how long before the images end up on the internet?  They say they’re not recording any of the scans but c’mon…you mean to tell me the dickhead running that thing out at LAX in Los Angeles isn’t gonna find a way to sneak a couple of camera phone shots of Salma Hayek walking through a fuckin’ x-ray machine?  Fuck, I would.  Why do you think it was my most desired super power when I was a kid?  We didn’t have internet porn when I was young…I had to rely on Madonna videos for my material.  Remember that scene in the ‘Like a Prayer’ video when she’s dancing in front of the burning crosses and her breasts and kinda jiggling around…ohhhhhh yeahhhhhh.

I’ll finish up by saying this:  terrorism is a fucked up sort of thing.  I understand the concept of stopping it before it occurs but it seems like this is taking it too far.  9/11 was, I guess, a tragedy.  But was it an epic tragedy?  Meh.  Go live in a 3rd world country for a spell and you might look at it a little differently.  Go to Colombia and watch sewer water run down open streets in the middle of the day.  Go to Nicaragua and work 12 hours a day for 100$ a month.  To me, that’s tragic.  9/11 was a bad day and looks to me to be little more than the perfect opportunity to keep the rich, rich and the poor, monitored 24 hours a day to make sure they’re not trying to find a way to get an of the rich people’s money.

Call me an asshole but all this shit just gives me a headache.