Piss, Vinegar, Dash Of Pepper, Pound Of Flesh, Cooked To Perfection

People should really understand something about me: I tend to respond violently to threats.

This goes out to someone specific, someone who’ll probably never read this.  Just figured I’d let everyone know where I stand on the issue.  I love hugging the ones I love.  Those hugs can turn into chokeholds very, very quickly.

Make no mistake about it: I’m one seriously loyal motherfucker.  I’ll go to the ends of the earth for you.  But understand if I feel like I’m being fucked with, I become very loyal to myself in exercising every opportunity to assfuck you whenever possible.  It’s just how I’m made.  I spent years trying to change it until I finally decided to embrace it.  Some call it a character flaw.  I call it a helluva good club to have in your bag…so long as you don’t get on the wrong side of it.

We can disagree.  I’m ok with not getting my way ALL the time.  But threats?  I’m just glad it happened over the phone cuz I’ll gamble on the idea that the person who just ran their mouth off to me probably can’t take an asskicking quite like they used to.

One final thing about threats…

Why would you ever threaten the one person who knows where every single last one of your skeletons are buried? 

See…THAT’S how you threaten someone.